oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
