Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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