I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
