Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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