just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
