we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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