i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
