Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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