I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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