I looked at my own cervix.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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