I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
