great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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