It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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