i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
