I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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