were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want her autograph on my taint
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
