I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
