conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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