Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
