Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
