I'm drive I can fine osifer
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
