oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
