Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
