i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
