Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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