She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
