my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Welp...herpes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
