why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But theres a keg here and me gusta
did you just send me my own nude
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize