I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
