Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
