pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize