counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
