i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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