it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
one might say we're banned from that church
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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