just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
