im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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