tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
