I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
