my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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