Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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