i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
