She is in my trunk
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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