Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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