From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
