They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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