Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
