did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize