Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize