In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
