ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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