Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize