i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
