You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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