you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
and you fell through a lawn chair
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
