I wanna passion pit in your ass
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
