Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the menβs room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out Iβm married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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