I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just threw up on my dentist
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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