To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
