a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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