Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
