I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
