in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize