i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
