just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
