i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
