at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
