i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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