i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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