I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
