i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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